The first post op week was quite intense.
The weekend at home was spent with a fair amount of painkillers that were leaving me either drowsy and with reduced appetite - well I wouldn't really mind the second if it wasn't a borderline sickness - so basically I had mum and M to do everything for me - great deal actually! This teaches us so much in life, is teaching me to let go of certain things I'd get up and do and that are not that important. Just put it this way: if you had to ask a stranger to do you that favour, would you ask them, or would that be asking to much out of someone? If it would it's because it's not important, and you can leave it till tomorrow or the next day when you're able to do it. Don't overdo yourself! - Just a random life advice from the one that has been sitting on a sofa getting annoyed at the things she can't do rather than getting happy with the things that she's able to.
Back to Monday when I went to take my drain out - I'd already reduced the painkillers the day before to half of it as I was not liking the constant "high" feeling - I had to load the system with the strong stuff. Ready for "battle" and expecting a lot of pain, turned out taking the dressing and the little stitch was the worse of it; then what it felt like a worm inside my body coming from the top of the chest lined up with the armpit then all the way down by the side of the chest towards the line of the bra, came out and it felt empty - no extra pain, just empty. After that no more horrible painkillers.
On Tuesday started the exercises the physiotherapist sent through the post in a leaflet form. They turned out very difficult to do at first just because the swelling was painful and in the way making impossible to lay my arm down along my body. I panicked as the fluid collection increased since I had the drain removed. After a "consultation" with the Tits - just in case I never mentioned here, the Tits are a WhatsApp group I belong too with a few very experienced ladies and a gentleman that have been/are going through the same nightmare that is breast cancer - the fluid collection was all normal to have after surgery and I shouldn't panic too much.
And I'm glad I didn't as the next day I swear I've noticed a slight improvement, and perhaps this was so exciting that made me show off to M's family a little bit on all the arm movements I was already able to do - I could even reach my bra to undo it... proud Patty!
Oh how naive I was! Who wants to guess what happens next? Yes - Pain!
I'm gonna call it #painbackthursday. The day I woke up in so much pain that seemed like I just had surgery again. I don't know if it was the extra movement the day before, the lack of resting (as we went out for lunch) or a bad sleeping position - or all of the above - but surely something did it. It made me feel I was back to square one with panikillers - that I refused to take till the afternoon because I just hate the way they make me feel - and no, there's no others I can take unfortunately.
Friday woke up slightly better and went out for a walk just to keep the joints moving - yes I still have my joint aches that were a bit masked by all the painkillers for the first few days - and it felt good, had to be slowly, but good. I've attempted my DIY distraction just to keep me busy and distracted. Finally finished my cutie unicorn and started some Christmas decorations - Yay, Christmas is coming!!!! The most wonderful time of the year - and managed the whole day without pain relief. Although my luck was not at it's best that day. In the morning I realised I didn't have a letter for my appointment on Monday, - the one the surgeon told me someone would book me - I rang the hospital and got upset with someone that almost told me it was my fault that I should have booked it myself and had to wait until Monday - the actual appointment date - to find out if they could fit me in last minute. Not happy with this and crying my eyes out again - as Monday's appointment meant checking the wounds and take the dressings out - asked help again to my dear experienced Tits that directed me to book with the surgeons secretary instead - Hallelujah, it was finally sorted. Now fast forward to the evening when I decided to have a nice hot shower and wet my under arm dressing - F***. I did put 2 extra tape to prevent water from getting in, you can tell it didn't work... - Panic again. What do I do? What would I do if it was someone else? Why does my nurse brain go blank when I get myself in panicking mode? I've got dressings, so let's change it - not before a complete flap and a few tears. - Mum helped me to do the best clean dressing we could do. And breath... we're ok now.
Did I speak too soon? Probably! The pain was worse again on Saturday morning, a lot of tears waking up - I'm starting to see a pattern here - but this time stopped being stubborn and took painkillers in the morning and saved myself extra suffering and ended up having a better day. Went shopping, bingo and dinner with friends - Zombie/drowsy mode was on while shopping but it was all good, just meant I had to sit down a couple of times. - and the day ended up way better than it started despite none of us win any money at bingo...
Sunday-Funday we went out to a Christmas market - this makes me very happy - but being in the middle of so many people didn't help. Had a couple of elbows and shoulders against my arm that made me jump in pain. The car rides over lumps and bumps have been annoying me too, so we had a very grumpy Patty for a couple of hours but nothing that a family lunch/dinner and a couple of paracetamol can't cure.
Monday arrived today, bringing with it a beautiful sky and great energies. I had the kindness of S that gave mum and me a lift to the hospital for what it was a 'take my dressings away and let me see my boob day'! And something I was not fully expecting: Results.
Out of the 8g of breast tissue with 3mm of clear margins and the 9 lymph nodes removed, lab results show that I had a 'Pathologic Complete Response' - meaning no cancer present on the lump or the lymph nodes they removed - Chemotherapy and positive attitude wiped cancer away from me!
I KICKED CANCER'S ARSE! F*CK YOU CANCER!
Due to this pathologic complete response the prognosis for the future looks great and the recurrence on my situation is around the 6% chances. The scaring is very neat and it's the best we could ask for. All good news.
The journey is not over yet as I still have to recover from this surgery that has given me a useless arm that needs rehabilitation to get the muscles working and stretching again without pain and radiotherapy as a preventive measure for recurrence.
Most importantly, today is World Kindness Day, I mustn't forget to remind you - lol - to be kind to one another, always.
P.x
The weekend at home was spent with a fair amount of painkillers that were leaving me either drowsy and with reduced appetite - well I wouldn't really mind the second if it wasn't a borderline sickness - so basically I had mum and M to do everything for me - great deal actually! This teaches us so much in life, is teaching me to let go of certain things I'd get up and do and that are not that important. Just put it this way: if you had to ask a stranger to do you that favour, would you ask them, or would that be asking to much out of someone? If it would it's because it's not important, and you can leave it till tomorrow or the next day when you're able to do it. Don't overdo yourself! - Just a random life advice from the one that has been sitting on a sofa getting annoyed at the things she can't do rather than getting happy with the things that she's able to.
Back to Monday when I went to take my drain out - I'd already reduced the painkillers the day before to half of it as I was not liking the constant "high" feeling - I had to load the system with the strong stuff. Ready for "battle" and expecting a lot of pain, turned out taking the dressing and the little stitch was the worse of it; then what it felt like a worm inside my body coming from the top of the chest lined up with the armpit then all the way down by the side of the chest towards the line of the bra, came out and it felt empty - no extra pain, just empty. After that no more horrible painkillers.
On Tuesday started the exercises the physiotherapist sent through the post in a leaflet form. They turned out very difficult to do at first just because the swelling was painful and in the way making impossible to lay my arm down along my body. I panicked as the fluid collection increased since I had the drain removed. After a "consultation" with the Tits - just in case I never mentioned here, the Tits are a WhatsApp group I belong too with a few very experienced ladies and a gentleman that have been/are going through the same nightmare that is breast cancer - the fluid collection was all normal to have after surgery and I shouldn't panic too much.
And I'm glad I didn't as the next day I swear I've noticed a slight improvement, and perhaps this was so exciting that made me show off to M's family a little bit on all the arm movements I was already able to do - I could even reach my bra to undo it... proud Patty!
Oh how naive I was! Who wants to guess what happens next? Yes - Pain!
I'm gonna call it #painbackthursday. The day I woke up in so much pain that seemed like I just had surgery again. I don't know if it was the extra movement the day before, the lack of resting (as we went out for lunch) or a bad sleeping position - or all of the above - but surely something did it. It made me feel I was back to square one with panikillers - that I refused to take till the afternoon because I just hate the way they make me feel - and no, there's no others I can take unfortunately.
Friday woke up slightly better and went out for a walk just to keep the joints moving - yes I still have my joint aches that were a bit masked by all the painkillers for the first few days - and it felt good, had to be slowly, but good. I've attempted my DIY distraction just to keep me busy and distracted. Finally finished my cutie unicorn and started some Christmas decorations - Yay, Christmas is coming!!!! The most wonderful time of the year - and managed the whole day without pain relief. Although my luck was not at it's best that day. In the morning I realised I didn't have a letter for my appointment on Monday, - the one the surgeon told me someone would book me - I rang the hospital and got upset with someone that almost told me it was my fault that I should have booked it myself and had to wait until Monday - the actual appointment date - to find out if they could fit me in last minute. Not happy with this and crying my eyes out again - as Monday's appointment meant checking the wounds and take the dressings out - asked help again to my dear experienced Tits that directed me to book with the surgeons secretary instead - Hallelujah, it was finally sorted. Now fast forward to the evening when I decided to have a nice hot shower and wet my under arm dressing - F***. I did put 2 extra tape to prevent water from getting in, you can tell it didn't work... - Panic again. What do I do? What would I do if it was someone else? Why does my nurse brain go blank when I get myself in panicking mode? I've got dressings, so let's change it - not before a complete flap and a few tears. - Mum helped me to do the best clean dressing we could do. And breath... we're ok now.Did I speak too soon? Probably! The pain was worse again on Saturday morning, a lot of tears waking up - I'm starting to see a pattern here - but this time stopped being stubborn and took painkillers in the morning and saved myself extra suffering and ended up having a better day. Went shopping, bingo and dinner with friends - Zombie/drowsy mode was on while shopping but it was all good, just meant I had to sit down a couple of times. - and the day ended up way better than it started despite none of us win any money at bingo...
Sunday-Funday we went out to a Christmas market - this makes me very happy - but being in the middle of so many people didn't help. Had a couple of elbows and shoulders against my arm that made me jump in pain. The car rides over lumps and bumps have been annoying me too, so we had a very grumpy Patty for a couple of hours but nothing that a family lunch/dinner and a couple of paracetamol can't cure.
Monday arrived today, bringing with it a beautiful sky and great energies. I had the kindness of S that gave mum and me a lift to the hospital for what it was a 'take my dressings away and let me see my boob day'! And something I was not fully expecting: Results.
Out of the 8g of breast tissue with 3mm of clear margins and the 9 lymph nodes removed, lab results show that I had a 'Pathologic Complete Response' - meaning no cancer present on the lump or the lymph nodes they removed - Chemotherapy and positive attitude wiped cancer away from me!
I KICKED CANCER'S ARSE! F*CK YOU CANCER!
Due to this pathologic complete response the prognosis for the future looks great and the recurrence on my situation is around the 6% chances. The scaring is very neat and it's the best we could ask for. All good news.
The journey is not over yet as I still have to recover from this surgery that has given me a useless arm that needs rehabilitation to get the muscles working and stretching again without pain and radiotherapy as a preventive measure for recurrence.
Most importantly, today is World Kindness Day, I mustn't forget to remind you - lol - to be kind to one another, always.
"Be someone's sunshine when their skies are grey"
P.x
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