Today I feel lucky.
I'm not saying that I am lucky, but I feel fortunate.
Having almost won a battle against cancer does not make me lucky. Although having cancer was out of luck - a very bad luck - this sort of diagnose is very unfortunate. The fact that I fought and came out the other end with a few scars and bad memories still doesn't make me lucky. Not me or anyone with a similar diagnose and outcome.
Life is so unfair sometimes and not everyone has the same outcome. Some people don't come out with just a few scars, some people don't come out at all. And that breaks my heart. That is the only reason why I feel lucky.
I feel lucky because I made peace with my past, I started speaking to people I had long stop speaking to, I became more forgiving, my family and M found a strength they didn't know they had.
Cancer showed me the ones worth having by my side, brought me a new bunch of friends, a new perspective in life and made me reflect on things I never considered before.
I feel lucky because I still have a life ahead of me, a lot of memories and mistakes to be made and risks to be taken.
Even if today I didn't enjoy it, and left it til tomorrow, I feel lucky enough to have tomorrow.
Then I feel sad, devastated, angry, furious because not everyone is allowed to feel lucky. Not everyone has a family or friends to support them, not everyone finds their strength and sometimes cancer scores before they are able to.
Cancer. What a horrible thing to feel lucky about.
P.x
I'm not saying that I am lucky, but I feel fortunate.
Having almost won a battle against cancer does not make me lucky. Although having cancer was out of luck - a very bad luck - this sort of diagnose is very unfortunate. The fact that I fought and came out the other end with a few scars and bad memories still doesn't make me lucky. Not me or anyone with a similar diagnose and outcome.
Life is so unfair sometimes and not everyone has the same outcome. Some people don't come out with just a few scars, some people don't come out at all. And that breaks my heart. That is the only reason why I feel lucky.
I feel lucky because I made peace with my past, I started speaking to people I had long stop speaking to, I became more forgiving, my family and M found a strength they didn't know they had.
Cancer showed me the ones worth having by my side, brought me a new bunch of friends, a new perspective in life and made me reflect on things I never considered before.
I feel lucky because I still have a life ahead of me, a lot of memories and mistakes to be made and risks to be taken.
Even if today I didn't enjoy it, and left it til tomorrow, I feel lucky enough to have tomorrow.
Then I feel sad, devastated, angry, furious because not everyone is allowed to feel lucky. Not everyone has a family or friends to support them, not everyone finds their strength and sometimes cancer scores before they are able to.
Cancer. What a horrible thing to feel lucky about.
P.x
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