Back to reality!
We've had a week off. Disconnected from the world. No social media, no phone during the day, only turning on at night for a couple of hours of catching up with friends and family.
It was so so nice. I'd love to do it again.
Although the sun wasn't out much - not that I can lay on it anyway - we are slowly learning how to dance in the rain!
The week before we went to Broadstairs for a week away we had another check up with the oncologist. Turns out the MRI shows my breast is clear of the tumour, there's only the margins left to be removed by surgery. With this, my case was discussed in this meeting between oncologists and nurses and they all decided that I should have the initial planned chemo: 4 of EC + 4 of Paclitaxel, meaning that I will start a brand new chemo this week! Some would say these are bad news, I'd say they are good! Despite the fact they are only doing this because the survival rates are better with the combination of the two instead of giving me the 6 doses of the first one (reacting good or not) but to me it's a bit more than that: it's saying goodbye to all the gastric complications the other chemo was bringing me. I was living in my own personal hell and not coping with it anymore. NLP seems to be doing it's job now. The week before holiday, along with my regular counselling and reflexology session, I had something called NeuroLinguistic Programming. I was developing anxiety related to chemo as my mind was associating it to all the side effects going around my body, so YouCan (the charity that has been helping me) suggested I had something else to help me and I do think it's working - although I might have been a bit sceptic about it, now I think I believe a little bit.
Now I'll be getting ready to face new symptoms - they say it's not so much gastric but more aches and pains, and I think I'm ok with it. I do believe aches and pains are more easy to manage than sickness and the fact that I can't even drink when I'm thirsty. It might be a bit scary not knowing what's coming, and having to re-learn new symptoms and deal with them but I feel strong and ready to face them - as long as it's not sickness. (Can you tell how traumatised I am from it?)
The week off made me think of a couple of hobbies I want to have, but I'm still trying to plan them appropriately. Seeing that I still have a few months ahead of me with chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, I really need a hobby that keeps my mind off of things - and yes, knitting might be one of them, typical right? Jigsaw puzzles might be the other one - I seem to be quite obsessed about finishing them no matter how hard they are - M even said I get quite bossy, and I kinda do! But about that, I'll keep you posted - still open to suggestions though.
Some people say that times like this we just want to forget, to get over them and leave them behind.
I think that we should never forget. If we had this put in our path, it's because there's a reason, we should never forget it, never leave it behind, but embrace it and always remember how it made you feel. Times like this make you grow and take a different perspective on life, and for that reason I chose to make it eternal. Estelle Thompson Photography helped us with it. Her energy gave us the confidence to be brave in front of a camera and make a sad situation in our lives into a fun and beautiful moment that we can look back and say: we've made it. There's 120 pictures that are so awesome and I'll leave a couple for you to see. E was an absolute Angel that showed up in our lives. Thank you so so much!
And I know I've missed the 1st of the month but it's never late to check your boobies!! Today might make a difference.
We've had a week off. Disconnected from the world. No social media, no phone during the day, only turning on at night for a couple of hours of catching up with friends and family.
It was so so nice. I'd love to do it again.
Although the sun wasn't out much - not that I can lay on it anyway - we are slowly learning how to dance in the rain!
The week before we went to Broadstairs for a week away we had another check up with the oncologist. Turns out the MRI shows my breast is clear of the tumour, there's only the margins left to be removed by surgery. With this, my case was discussed in this meeting between oncologists and nurses and they all decided that I should have the initial planned chemo: 4 of EC + 4 of Paclitaxel, meaning that I will start a brand new chemo this week! Some would say these are bad news, I'd say they are good! Despite the fact they are only doing this because the survival rates are better with the combination of the two instead of giving me the 6 doses of the first one (reacting good or not) but to me it's a bit more than that: it's saying goodbye to all the gastric complications the other chemo was bringing me. I was living in my own personal hell and not coping with it anymore. NLP seems to be doing it's job now. The week before holiday, along with my regular counselling and reflexology session, I had something called NeuroLinguistic Programming. I was developing anxiety related to chemo as my mind was associating it to all the side effects going around my body, so YouCan (the charity that has been helping me) suggested I had something else to help me and I do think it's working - although I might have been a bit sceptic about it, now I think I believe a little bit.
Now I'll be getting ready to face new symptoms - they say it's not so much gastric but more aches and pains, and I think I'm ok with it. I do believe aches and pains are more easy to manage than sickness and the fact that I can't even drink when I'm thirsty. It might be a bit scary not knowing what's coming, and having to re-learn new symptoms and deal with them but I feel strong and ready to face them - as long as it's not sickness. (Can you tell how traumatised I am from it?)
The week off made me think of a couple of hobbies I want to have, but I'm still trying to plan them appropriately. Seeing that I still have a few months ahead of me with chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, I really need a hobby that keeps my mind off of things - and yes, knitting might be one of them, typical right? Jigsaw puzzles might be the other one - I seem to be quite obsessed about finishing them no matter how hard they are - M even said I get quite bossy, and I kinda do! But about that, I'll keep you posted - still open to suggestions though.
Some people say that times like this we just want to forget, to get over them and leave them behind.
I think that we should never forget. If we had this put in our path, it's because there's a reason, we should never forget it, never leave it behind, but embrace it and always remember how it made you feel. Times like this make you grow and take a different perspective on life, and for that reason I chose to make it eternal. Estelle Thompson Photography helped us with it. Her energy gave us the confidence to be brave in front of a camera and make a sad situation in our lives into a fun and beautiful moment that we can look back and say: we've made it. There's 120 pictures that are so awesome and I'll leave a couple for you to see. E was an absolute Angel that showed up in our lives. Thank you so so much!
And I know I've missed the 1st of the month but it's never late to check your boobies!! Today might make a difference.
"Instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we can learn to dance on a shifting carpet"P.x
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