There is Always Room For Improvement

How do you snap out of something?

You go and change your attitude towards it! Wish it was that simple...

I'm trying. I promise I am! There has been tiny changes/improvement... or perhaps there was only the need to change/improve.

I'm not crying as much (only once a week) and not staying in bed as much - just enough to catch on the sleep that I don't seem to have overnight as the hot flushes and the cold air outside don't seem to agree or work together. 

I've decided to add important sayings to the Positivity Board. 

(And what is this Positivity Board you ask?) 

- The positivity board was my small diy project during the 10 days we waited for the diagnose. Something to keep me sane that week. Where we wrote and asked some people to write on to give us some positives to look at. -

Things like "Stop asking why me?" and "You didn't do this to yourself" are now part of it. And I'm starting to believe it. Don't think I've ever done anything that terrible that made Karma drop this in my life. Although I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason, maybe the reason will come later in life, maybe it's not even directly related to me, maybe I will never find out, but I will learn from the whole experience. I'm already learning.

Yesterday I went back to the gym after a very long time. Medication is changing my body. Even though I'm careful with what I eat everyday (

) my body has changed very rapidly in the last couple of months, and I know that most of it is medication related so I'm not beating myself to much about it (but I am...). So yesterday got my arse out of bed - there's a change/improvement - and went shopping for clothes that actually fit me - yes, I'm going up a size...- and made myself go to the gym (only for a 30min walk but was enough). Gym was packed and all I could think was: people are gonna look at the scarf and start thinking what is she doing here? - Well the answer is...I'm trying to be healthier... trying to hold myself into the health I still have and work it out, hoping that exercising will make me feel better through the next round of chemo, and lately, prepare myself to walk 5k next Saturday. I've decided to do it just because I want to prove myself that I can do it and I'm still a normal person and cancer won't take it away from me. So we do appreciate anyone who wants to join us (M, a few friends and I)  https://www.bigfunrun.com/maidstone/ there are still entries available, or even if you just want to come and watch and have a bit of fun! If , on the other hand, you fancy supporting us, we do have a JustGiving page available that our neighbours started for us: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/patricia-venancio 

Anyway you want to get involved, please do! I do promise next year I'll plan this a bit better with more people and do it with more people that want to get involved. 

"It takes courage to face one's shortcomings; and wisdom to do something about them."

P.x