Life is Never Boring

I have decided that this week will be a good week.

Even though I'm in pain. It has to be a good one.

Mum has gone back home on Monday and it might be the last day she sees me with this hairstyle. So first we had to take a selfie!

The hair should start falling around day 14, and we're at day 10 already. Everyday I've been playing with it, making those little twists that most of us secretly like, and everyday I've got this secret fear that one of those twists will just get stuck around my finger and comes off my scalp. - So I keep checking. And nothing so far. - Anyway, if it does, at least is while I'm doing something I enjoy. Looking at the towel after a shower and look for "hair loss" has become a habit too. I shouldn't be so obsessed with it and should just embrace it, but I think I want to cut it really short before bigger amounts start falling. So let's embrace it and try to take it as a part of the process, similar to all those injections and medical interventions. 

Hair update:

The wig is ordered, Tracey came to see me on Monday to do a color and length consultation, 

I've got a feeling that I'll like it, just afraid it will be to hot to wear, but as M says all the time: "then you'll have the option". - The baldness will remain until winter time anyway, so I'll have plenty of time to use it. 

Medical interventions update:

Another thing that happened last week, we got a phone call from the hospital saying that they need to repeat the ultrasound and biopsy of my neck as it came inconclusive, the good thing is: it won't be this week. I'm waiting for a letter and definitely not looking forward to it. I'll have an appointment with the oncologist next week and will get the bone scan results and hopefully she can stage the cancer once and for all.

Fertility update:

We've got 3 little embryos that have been frozen and will be waiting for us in a few years time and that is sooooo exciting! We've got 3 tiny lives awaiting us and despite the fact there is 50/50 chances of them implanting first try, it's a pretty good thing to hold on to!

Last night I had my last injection of GSCF (Filgrastin) and since then been having horrible bone and muscle aches. It feels like someone is squeezing my bones together from the inside in 10 second intervals, leaving me with weak legs and difficulty in breathing for the duration of the spasms. This is the best I can describe it as they are located mostly on my lumbar back and rib cage (from the back to the front) weirdest feeling ever. - I know... seems like I've got a new thing every day, my life is never boring! - M looked pretty scared this morning when he caught me on my way to the floor as both of my hands were occupied and I wasn't quick enough to hold on to something.

So uncle R had to take me to the nurse today for my new injection (Zoladex it's name, also known as Goserelin) as I was unsafe to drive myself - thank goodness this one is only every four weeks and I don't have to do it myself, whoop whoop!- This injection will cause a temporary menopause with the intent to save my ovaries from being so damaged with the hope that I can get the fertility back. Fingers crossed.

"Strength grows in the moments when you think you can't go on, but you keep going anyway."

P.x