Speak Up!

07.30 Wake up!

Why can't I sleep more than that? I love to be in the field of dreams, where your worries don't exist.

Then I wake up and reality hits you in the face. 

You've got cancer. 

You've got to be a fighter from now on. 

Then depression hits. 

But turn to the other side and there he is - My rock! He says the wise words that I need to hear and suddenly things feel a bit better - still not great, but better.

Messages kept flowing through my phone of shocked people about the awareness post on Facebook. The messages full of amazingly kind words left me speechless. Some made me cry. 

I didn't realize that so many people would even read or pay attention to it. 

I'm so grateful for the support words transmitted by all of you and believe me - that makes a difference, to know that you have a crowd hoping that you'll get through this.

Took me quite a while to decide to make it public. Not many people know but I was embarrassed to tell anyone that I found a lump on my breast. First because - I'm a nurse! I should know better! - Then - What if it's nothing and I'm making a big thing out of it? Don't want to go around and tell people, they will judge me. Now I know the embarrassment is absolutely ridiculous! If something worries you - Speak Up! 

But now I'm glad I did. People need to be aware that this (I still struggle with that word, I'm sorry) is something real and can knock at anyone's door. 

I feel like even with this horrendous fate I've got a purpose. I should educate and raise awareness.
Today there was a very fine line between being ok and falling into that deep dark place and I chose to raise up and be better than the cancer.  

Today I wore a full face of make up for the first time in two weeks. I felt a bit happy about it!

"Life must be rich and full of loving...It's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone"

P.x