Today it's M's time to voice his feelings about this hell we're going through.
I shall leave you with him.
Sometimes it's almost like we've accepted the diagnosis, but the truth is that we know the worst is yet to come. Today we watched the movie Hook, where we disappeared back into a fantasy world where we used to have no worries at all and we never wanted to grow up.
At first there were no words, just devastation. One minute we were discussing how to organize the bedroom to start a family, then our entire lives are flipped upside down with just one horrible word - Cancer. You can't prepare for it. And now as we struggle to deal with the many emotions, our thoughts have manifested into 1000 unanswerable questions. Will we be O.K? For how long? How will this impact us as a couple? Will we ever have any children? It's made us completely selfless and puts so many irrelevant things in life into perspective.
This is going to sound bias because we are a couple, but the world really would be at a loss without her. Her smile is infectious. She's saved lives and given support to those in dark places at their lowest moments. A lifetime wouldn't be enough to explain everything that is great about P. She's the strongest most independent woman I've ever met, so to see her in tears saying to me "I don't want to go through this" is the worst emotional pain I've ever experienced. And I have dealt with plenty of that in many different forms.
Helplessness is an understatement. Anyone in our immediate family would trade places with her if they could. If this was happening to me as some kind of punishment for the stupid things I had done in my life it would all make more sense. But everyone is on a different journey and at this point we don't know why we've been put on this path. Maybe one day we will.
I don't believe in God because I've never seen any proof of his existence. But what I have seen evidence of is the incredible power of the imagination. I believe that things do have a meaning though, a purpose, and that this is our test. I believe that my life has molded me into the strongest version of myself, mentally and physically so that I can be there for her in every way I need to, so that she can rely on me. Because that's all I can do. I believe that everybody goes through a struggle in life and that this is ours. I believe that this is happening to us because we can do it. And I know that we can because we will.
With the help and support from our family and friends we will remain as positive as we can. We would like to lead an example that there are always going to be positives in life. We will still smile and when people see that and wonder how or why with the situation we're in I'll tell them the truth...I am spending every single day that I can with the woman I love, a person that showed me that any place in the world can be called home.
M.x
I shall leave you with him.
Sometimes it's almost like we've accepted the diagnosis, but the truth is that we know the worst is yet to come. Today we watched the movie Hook, where we disappeared back into a fantasy world where we used to have no worries at all and we never wanted to grow up.
At first there were no words, just devastation. One minute we were discussing how to organize the bedroom to start a family, then our entire lives are flipped upside down with just one horrible word - Cancer. You can't prepare for it. And now as we struggle to deal with the many emotions, our thoughts have manifested into 1000 unanswerable questions. Will we be O.K? For how long? How will this impact us as a couple? Will we ever have any children? It's made us completely selfless and puts so many irrelevant things in life into perspective.
This is going to sound bias because we are a couple, but the world really would be at a loss without her. Her smile is infectious. She's saved lives and given support to those in dark places at their lowest moments. A lifetime wouldn't be enough to explain everything that is great about P. She's the strongest most independent woman I've ever met, so to see her in tears saying to me "I don't want to go through this" is the worst emotional pain I've ever experienced. And I have dealt with plenty of that in many different forms.
Helplessness is an understatement. Anyone in our immediate family would trade places with her if they could. If this was happening to me as some kind of punishment for the stupid things I had done in my life it would all make more sense. But everyone is on a different journey and at this point we don't know why we've been put on this path. Maybe one day we will.
I don't believe in God because I've never seen any proof of his existence. But what I have seen evidence of is the incredible power of the imagination. I believe that things do have a meaning though, a purpose, and that this is our test. I believe that my life has molded me into the strongest version of myself, mentally and physically so that I can be there for her in every way I need to, so that she can rely on me. Because that's all I can do. I believe that everybody goes through a struggle in life and that this is ours. I believe that this is happening to us because we can do it. And I know that we can because we will.
With the help and support from our family and friends we will remain as positive as we can. We would like to lead an example that there are always going to be positives in life. We will still smile and when people see that and wonder how or why with the situation we're in I'll tell them the truth...I am spending every single day that I can with the woman I love, a person that showed me that any place in the world can be called home.
"No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together".
M.x
No comments:
Post a Comment