"Dear Cancer Love Victoria"

Last Sunday I've met a very inspiring woman.

Victoria Derbshire

She's a journalist and a breast cancer survivor! She's wrote a book/diary of her journey and she's now inspiring so many of us. There was tears and laughter in that book presentation but everything was so real. Seeing someone with that kind of strength makes me want to be even better and push my limits. If she managed to do it why shouldn't I?

I was so glad I met Victoria, that professional diary writer, that was kind enough to listen to my story and ask questions about me, humble enough to ask if her speech wasn't too harsh. Victoria is also giving all her profits from the book to charity. One of them being YouCan.
This charity has helped so many of us and has so much to offer. I am so glad they took me under their wing and do everything they can to make me feel better.

Going out and do things is a big thing for me lately. I feel like my comfort place is at home and everywhere I go I feel like I don't belong there or feel uncomfortable and in a rush to come back to my safe place. I do still force myself to go out because that is not me, I'd be the one very excited to go on a London trip and the fact that I cried before I went is not a good sign. I don't know if it's because I feel conscious that people look at me because I'm a baldie or because clothes don't fit me and I'm not very glam, or it's probably just in my head and I'm just not comfortable with myself.

I don't think surgery will help with any of this as the idea of taking away a part of myself goes around in my head over and over again. I just hope I don't get more conscious of my body than I already am. I do admire all of you ladies that come out bravely after your surgeries no matter how your breasts look to you in the mirror. It's such a personal thing and it's part of our femininity.
To all the ones that keep trying to say "it's just a breast", "at least you'll get rid of cancer" that's not really the case. It's MY breast and cancer will always be a part of my life - so will that wonky breast and those scars to remind me. It's something I'm going to lose not being my fault. So please don't judge me or anyone that might cry because their breasts are wonky or too small or whatever they struggle with.

"Don't let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace"

P.x