No More Needles!

Today was Portacath insertion day!

I should be well excited about this... but all I feel is pain.

All I've been feeling this week is pain.

I feel sorry for M when he feels powerless towards my screams of pain. - Most of you don't know, but I hate taking tablets, being them painkillers or not. If I can stand the pain, I will, only take tablets when I'm completely desperate (This came after I've been diagnosed with gastritis a few years back and I think everything will upset my stomach).

My abdominal pain stopped yesterday, I still have the odd sharp pain on my right ovary if I laugh or cough but otherwise was fine. I was extremely glad about that as we had the pre-chemo meeting and the last thing I wanted was to sit there in pain. We watched a DVD full of information about the team and how the unit works, and the most common side effects - that don't happen at the same time to everyone nor all of them happen - I already knew most of them from my research and revived my memory when I was in nursing school, but was very good for M - well good for information but bad to make him worry even more.
We got loads of information about support groups that we can meet around our age group - I'd like that, I know I have so many people around me and they're all superstars but I'd like to have people that are going through the same too.

Today we woke up early - M barely slept with the worrying, and I had a sleep full of horrible tiring dreams. - Hospital was awaiting us.
I've asked for this, I'm starting to have a special hate for cannulas and needles going in my skin for the last month, so having a portacath was my choice. - Just didn't freaking know it would hurt so much!!!

Portacath's are a medical device that stays under your skin and allows medication to go in the vein and bloods be taken out. So people don't need to keep finding my veins anymore. A small needle pierces the rubber center and is a direct connection to the big veins in the body.

Dr Richard Leech was amazing! 5 stars 🌟 for him! But instead of the normal approach he had to use the jugular and go under my neck muscle and over my colarbone. So I can now tell you that, even swallowing my own saliva, hurts!

Pain score? About 9/10 when I move...6/10 when I'm resting.
Just trying to focus that in a few days time this pain will be gone and no more cannulas or needles for me! Yay!

P.x