Don't really know what made me wake up like that but frustration for not getting enough sleep might be a clue.
Getting dressed to go out was definitely something I didn't want to do - I don't have any clothes to wear... this stupid sports bra that I have to wear (as everything else causes me aches and discomfort) don't go with any clothes.
Makeup, what's even the point? I'm wearing horrible clothes anyway, My face looks so sad and miserable that no 10 layers of makeup will change that. And then the thinking... that my body doesn't look the same, it will never look the same. Breast is still swollen and bruised from all the tests, exams and biopsies and I can't see the end of this.
Then shoes. Oh another drama! It's a beautiful spring day, I could so bring out my flats, but my limitations of wearing a plain T-shirt to hide the sports bra, made me look like a right clown. Wearing sportswear and flats?! Trainers it is. Once again.
M is being so supportive, he made everything in his power to get me out of the house and I so appreciate that. I needed that distraction.
BBQ with the neighbors in the evening was a success after my morning drama. We've put a bet on the Grand National for the first time today, and as expected, we didn't win. But on the other hand we had lots of good food and laughs just the 4 of us and a bit of a badminton session. Sun was so nice and warm and I think it definitely makes things better.
We are making this our Grand National tradition!
"The real voyage of discovery consists not seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes"
P.x
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